The Final Countdown

I'm so close I can feel it. Everything I've worked for, every meeting I've sat in, every scholarship I've applied for, every contract I've signed is all about to pay off in a big way. This will be my last full week in the United States and I'm finally starting to realize that this is really about to happen to me.  This is it. This is my dream coming true. The years I spent watching Disney movies, telling me that dreams are a wish your heart makes, finally makes perfect sense.. Dreams are possible if you want them bad enough.


A few days ago, I was finally given my host family. After months of assaulting my email account, I have a name, address, and phone number. They're an older couple named Isabel, 63, and Juan Manuel, 68. I don't know what they look like or how nice they are. All I know is that they are laid-back people with a son named Javier. Isabel is a good cook, according to "my adoption papers," as I tend to call them. I don't know if they speak English or if I'm going to share a room with another international student. I'll find all of that out when I meet them. I'm very excited about moving in with them. They have a terrace and live 15-20 minutes from my new university.

When I leave Louisville on Sept. 18th, I'll fly to Dallas, London, and then land in Madrid on the 19th. I'll get to return to the Prado Museum.. see some of my favorite paintings again.. and go back to Toledo, Spain. I laughed when my program sent the five day itinerary of what we would be doing once we arrived. Everything on the list was something that I had already done before. I'm more mature now then I was went I left. Hopefully I'll see the world through wiser eyes.


Here area few photos from my trip in 2011:

Museo del Prado in Madrid

Toledo, Spain

Toledo is known for its steel. When I visited, I was able to see a man make a sword.  The history of steel in Toledo is quite interesting. You history junkies should Google it.

I made a promise the morning that I left Spain that I would be back and I'm so blessed that this is one promise that I swore I'd keep. There is so much excitement running through me when I think about all the things that I'm going to see, the people I'm going to meet, and the impact on my life that everything is going to have. Spain is a beautiful country full of beautiful people. These people are going to mold me into a better person, share their lives, and help me learn how to speak their language. I feel like Pocahontas, except her hair looks much better than mine in a windstorm.


I want to go away for awhile and just sit and marvel at something. I want to stick my toes in the Mediterranean. I want to see Real Madrid play at the Bernabeu. I want to watch football games and eat tapas with people that are just as happy as I am. I want to watch a bullfight and visit cathedrals, castles, and palaces. All of this is going to happen even if it takes everything I've got.


Despite my excitement, there is a lot of fear inside me.

When I walk away from my family at the airport, it's going to take everything in me to not turn right back around. They mean everything to me. They raised me to be a lady and pushed me to have enough confidence in myself to apply for this opportunity. I wouldn't be who I am or where I am if it hadn't been for them. My mother especially... (Hi, Mom. I know you're reading this... I love you so very much and I'm sorry "your little angel" is flying farther away than you would like, but know that I'll never forget my way home.) Leaving my family and friends is a tough pill to swallow. I know they'll be right here waiting for me to come back, but I will miss so much while I'm gone.

I just have this fear that during this school year, I'll slowly start to disappear. I'll miss out on things that I should be home for. I'll miss my brother's first year of high school. I won't be able to celebrate Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, etc. Everyone's lives will continue without me in it and I'm afraid of becoming insignificant to people that mean the world to me. I don't like that I can't text my best friend when something funny happens. I can't call my mother at 10 in the morning when I miss her. I can't sit on my grandparents front porch and listen to them tell me stories. My absence will really hurt them and I hate that I'm selfishly choosing a life that's so different from theirs. I wish I would have been more like them, happy with staying in one spot.. but God didn't mold me from the same cloth. I want the world and I can't help it.


My journey is 9 days from beginning. It's the final countdown. I'm in the process of seeing people, saying goodbye, eating tons of macaroni and cheese, driving, watching movies, and breathing in that good ol' American freedom. My life is about to change and all I really need is assurance that I'm going to be okay.


Continue to pray for my family and me. The overwhelming support is what keeps me motivated. God bless.